so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
