Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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