FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
