We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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