Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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