I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just pynch a tree in the face
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
