Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
