It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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