They should really pass out barf bags in church
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
