i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
