and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
