He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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