she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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