so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They took my balls.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
