How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My cat gives me a boner
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
