R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
its not stalking. its research.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
