She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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