Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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