How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
