I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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