If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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