I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
