i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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