i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
