Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
