found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
