i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
