How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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