He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it was like having sex with a tree stump
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
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