i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
