She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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