I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
