wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
