It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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