you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
