bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
