dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
