pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
