I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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