What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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