tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
