butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
