Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
