Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
