she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
