Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
