oh god the rape fog is back!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
