why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
