Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
