so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
